The holiday season has a reputation for presenting us with unique challenges but experience helped me reframe this time of year, at least in the context of learning. By approaching holiday-centric conversations with a client-centered perspective and open curiosity, you’ll find the season of giving actually has a lot to offer.
Clients as Experts: Understanding Unique Holiday Celebrations
A mother from West Africa, a practicing Muslim, shared that she and her son celebrated Christmas, teaching me how and why. Having relocated to the United States, and creating space from immediate family, she found enjoyment and community by participating in holiday celebrations and events with her son. Christmas is “magical and joyful,” she explained, adding she celebrated the “spirit of the season.”
I learned a great deal as I listened to her that holiday season. Deciding how she’d celebrate holidays gave her a sense of agency and empowerment. She valued joy and actively sought it out. She cared deeply about being a good mom and wanted her young son to experience joy. And she just really liked white artificial trees with blinking, colored lights.
Tips for Listening and Learning Without Assumptions
Before meeting with clients during the holiday season, consider the following tips:
- The Client is the Expert
Making assumptions based on demographic information or prior experience is something we’ve all done.but around the holidays, making assumptions can damage relationships and limit clients’ access to holiday-related community resources. Learning my client celebrated Christmas opened up conversation about various holiday related resources for toys and food.
- Fully Engage through Active Listening
If you’re a new clinician, documentation, making sure certain issues are addressed, and doing whatever else needs to be done can feel like the priority at every client meeting and that’s okay. Keep in mind, especially during this time of year, that that therapeutic relationship is the true agent of change. Give yourself permission to fully engage with clients through active listening.
Facing the client, making appropriate eye contact, and adopting a relaxed, open posture signals you’re holding space for your client to safely share. This may be the first time a client’s been invited to share so openly and may need gentle guidance from you in the form of open-ended questions.
- Reflect What the Client Says Back to Them
When there’s a break in the conversation, use that time to paraphrase what’s been shared. By reflecting their words back to them, it ensures mutual understanding and conveys empathy. It also gives clients an opportunity to reflect on what they’ve shared. Sometimes clients recognize they’ve misspoken and appreciate the chance to correct themselves. It’s also an opportunity to forge new connections and see things from a fresh perspective.
- Avoid Unintentionally Centering Your Experience
Be mindful of your role in holiday-centric conversations. We sometimes express empathy by sharing a similar experience, unintentionally shifting the focus from clients to our own experiences. True empathy is understanding life through the eyes of another, not our own. Get comfortable with being silent and recognize impulses to share. If you notice this happening more frequently than you’d like, processing this in supervision or a trusted colleague is helpful.
- Express Gratitude
Before client meetings end, express gratitude for their willingness to open up and share what their holiday celebrations and traditions are and the meaning behind them. By receiving this information, providers can enhance their work with clients through personalized support. Documenting the cultural details of clients’ lives in a tool, such as Casebook, ensures continuity of care between providers.
As the holiday season approaches, engage with clients using the above suggestions. Positioning clients as experts on their holiday celebrations through active listening builds trust and connection. Tools like Casebook can help you keep this valuable information organized and accessible, so every provider can deliver client-centered care that honors what matters most to clients.
